21 Feb One of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard is “don’t seek happiness”! Here’s why …
There’s a school of thought that argues that directly seeking happiness is counterproductive. The argument goes that happiness really only comes as a by-product of other, healthy and positive actions.
I don’t entirely disagree with this; but I also don’t entirely agree with it. Even if the position described above is true, they why would we engage in the so-called healthy habits, things like setting and working towards goals, practicing optimism, fostering and developing positive relationships etcetera etcetera.
In my humble opinion, we do them because ultimately … we want to be happy!
And what’s wrong with that?
Well, there can be some things wrong with it but it’s not the problem of happiness. If there is a problem it’s more attributable to people’s definitions of happiness. And there’s no doubt some definitions aren’t ideal.
No one, for example, should expect to be happy all the time. But seeking to create happiness with realistic expectations about how much and how often is completely reasonable (and, I’d suggest, recommended).
Similarly, wanting to enjoy more happiness shouldn’t mean that you’ll never experience unhappiness, or the so-called negative emotions. But accepting that along with happiness, it’s normal and appropriate, in fact it’s human to experience, at times, fear and anxiety, sadness and grief, anger and frustration.
I could go on but in short, as long as your definition of happiness is realistic then … it’s absurd to say don’t seek happiness.
Happiness might not be everything (there are definitely other goals we should have) but it is still valuable (happiness and positive emotions are correlated with better health, more positive relationships, greater resilience and even longevity).
We know money isn’t everything but it’s useful, we know fitness is important but not the only thing we should seek. Of course we should try to create happiness, just remember it’s only one piece of the puzzle of life.