26 Nov You don’t have to forget (sometimes you won’t want to)
In the self-help / therapy world, there’s often much talk about grieving and moving on.
And quite rightly so.
To varying degrees, we all experience loss; in the form of deaths, of the ending of friendships, jobs and even just opportunities and hopes that for whatever reason, didn’t eventuate.
There’s no doubt we don’t want to dwell too much on the past, especially that which can’t be changed. But there’s also no doubt that some of these people and experiences will stay with us forever, and that’s not entirely a bad thing.
It’s been said that grief is love with no place to go. And love is good!
So what if you could redirect or reframe that love. Hold on to the positive memories, for all they are, whilst still allowing for the acceptance of what currently is.
If someone or something was important to us, then why would we want to forget it or them?
Effectively moving on in life, then, does not necessarily involve forgetting. It might be healthier and more effective to hold on to all the good memories, to engage in what we might call positive reminiscing, whilst also remembering that things change, and that there are new things and people to love and enjoy now.
Getting that balance between the past, the present and the future is pretty much one of the keys to … happiness!