15 Oct Don’t hate on the rain
I exercise most mornings; and I exercise out in our small courtyard, which is a great way to start the day not just with the physical activity but also with some natural sunlight.
Just after I began this morning, however, it started raining. I was partially under cover, so it didn’t really affect me, but my first, automatic reaction, was one of negativity. “Damn, it’s raining”, or something like that, popped into my mind before I’d even had a chance to think about it.
Almost immediately, however, I realised the mistake I’d made. This automatic thought was unhelpful in so many ways.
Rain isn’t bad. It wasn’t going to stop me from doing anything and it is, in fact, necessary for the trees and nature I love so much to grow and thrive. Similarly, when it’s cold, I sometimes jump straight to a negative conclusion but the reality is that all I need to do if it’s cold is put on an extra layer of clothing. It really is that simple!
In addition to all of this, I can’t do anything about weather! I can do something about how I respond to it, as noted above, by dressing appropriately, but I can’t actually change what is.
And that’s when it hit me. I do the same thing with certain thoughts and feelings.
If I have negative thoughts, which I do often, I beat myself up with words of self-criticism I’d never direct towards anyone else. When I feel anxious or depressed, I think about how bad these bad feelings are, and how bad I am for letting them happen.
But what if I could approach my inner experiences the same way I try to approach the whether?
They are what they are. I have little control over whether they come or not. But I can do something, a lot really, in response to them and removing the extra layer of self-hatred which just causes more distress would go a long way to helping me feel better more often and even enjoying a great deal more happiness.
Accept your thoughts and feelings like you accept (or would like to accept) the weather. Rain will come and go, as will unhelpful thoughts and distressing emotions. That’s OK. It’s all OK. Instead of trying to fight that focus instead on managing your reactions to those experiences. You might even feel you come to love the rain!