17 Sep How to deal with a difficult person
I originally wrote this short piece to go on LinkedIn with the title “Dealing with an unpleasant manager or colleague” and then I realised that most of the ideas and tips would also apply to dealing with anyone, such as an unpleasant family member or friend.
Whether you like it or not, if you work for long enough, pretty much anywhere, it’s highly likely you’ll come across a manager or colleague who in some way or other is difficult or unpleasant to work or to deal with
I don’t write this to be negative; rather, it’s really just a statement of reality.
But the story doesn’t end there, because as always, there are positive ways you can respond to or deal with this; and today I thought I’d share some thoughts and ideas about what you can do to actively address this if or when it happens.
First up, it might be worth considering that there are actually different types of difficult co-workers; and understanding who and what you’re dealing with might make it easier to know which of the strategies would be most useful.
In brief, there are the lazy ones, the ones who complain or gossip excessively, those who seem to always want to be in the spotlight, and those who think they’re the bee’s knees (to use a polite descriptor).
Again, different responses might be more or less relevant for different colleagues but in general, the following tips should help you start to formulate a constructive response:
- Start by being mindful of yourself, and your reactions. Yes, it may well be that the other person is behaving inappropriately, but it’s also likely that your response will play a role in whether or not the situation is peacefully resolved or maybe, exacerbated and prolonged
- Remember, always, you have a right to set boundaries. That is, you can say “no”, you can communicate assertively, you can “observe but not absorb” which means you can watch what’s going on without necessarily buying in or taking it all on your own shoulders
- At the same time, it’s worth also remembering that you don’t have to deal with it all yourself. Talk to your manager (assuming they’re not the cause of the problem) or talk to a colleague or talk to anyone who might be able to help in any way
- And remain professional. If they go low, you can still go high. Be the positive employee and colleague that you want to be, and try to resist the temptation to get dragged down if possible
There are, of course, many other options available but I hope these give you some ideas to consider and I hope this short post helps you feel even just a little bit more confident and hopeful.