An argument AGAINST self-help

An argument AGAINST self-help

For those who’re not aware, I’ve spent pretty much ALL of my adult life in and around self-help. I’ve “consumed” self-help as someone with experience of significant mental ill-health, via books and audio-products, readings and more. And I’ve “created” self-help products as a clinical psychologist, coach, writer (of 7 books and 11 audiobooks) and more.

So it might come as somewhat of a surprise to see the title of this post, an argument AGAINST self-help. 

But let me first clarify; I’m not at all opposed to people taking responsibility for their own health and wellbeing. In fact, I’m all for it.

The bit I’m not so keen on is … the “self” bit!

That is, what has increasingly lead to me feeling more and more concerned is the idea that we feel we need to do it all on our own, or that it’s all about us. And this, I believe, is quite unhelpful and potentially dangerous.

Although there’s no doubt we can do much to help ourselves, we can’t necessarily do it all. At least, many of us can’t. We all need help sometimes and there’s nothing wrong at all with reaching out and asking for help. In fact, we’re far more likely to be far more successful if we do reach out and work TOGETHER with a friend or colleague or professional or anyone who’s willing and able to help. 

Further, the idea that it’s all about us is also unhelpful. One of the best things we can do to help ourselves is to help others. By caring for others, volunteering, doing good and being altruistic etcetera we will benefit in so many ways.

Which again, goes against the notion that it’s all about the self.

In summary, then, by all means do all you can to foster and develop positive physical and mental health. But find ways to do it with and for others. I can guarantee you’ll massively multiply your results and the benefits you can; which means it’ll be a great win-win for you and for those around you.