20 Aug Do you deserve to be happy?
Have you ever asked yourself if you “deserve” to be happy?
Have you ever felt guilty about enjoying happiness because you believe it’s inappropriate due to … there being problems in the world OR because you’ve been “bad” some time OR because you’re privileged OR for some other reason?
If you answered “no” to these questions then good luck to you.
But if, like me, you ever question the validity or your happiness, or your deservedness of happiness, then … keep reading.
In short, I’ve come to believe that asking whether or not you deserve happiness is asking the wrong question.
Happiness isn’t something to be deserved. It’s something to be grateful for if and when it visits; it’s something to be proud of if and when you’ve created it.
An alternative to asking whether or not you deserve to feel happy is to ask … do you deserve to feel guilty? Do you deserve to be so critical of yourself? Do you deserve to treat yourself worse then you’d ever treat any other human?
I’m hoping your answer to these latter questions is … “no”. You don’t deserve all that your inner critic serves up! You don’t deserve such cruelty and unhelpful, unhealthy abuse!
What you do deserve, if that’s even the right way to think about things, is self-compassion. What you do deserve, is to treat yourself with the same love and kindness as you’d treat another, especially another person about whom you care.
We all deserve that basic kindness; and if we can give ourselves that gentle love and compassion, we’ll be in a far better position to then offer that love and compassion to others. And surely that’s a “win-win” worth striving for!