05 Aug How to talk to yourself when you’re struggling emotionally
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s OK not to be OK all the time.
We all have ups and downs; and some of us have more downs than we’d like. But accepting this doesn’t mean we need to give in to it. Saying it’s OK not to be OK doesn’t mean we can’t do something to be more OK and so today, I thought I’d share a few healthier and more constructive ways we can talk to ourselves when our inner demons try to take over …
- Instead of “I can’t cope” try saying “you’ve coped with almost everything that’s come before, so you’ll find a way to cope with whatever is coming at you now”
- Instead of “everything is terrible” try saying “not everything is terrible; some things are, undoubtedly, stressful and challenging right now but there are many other things that are great and worthy of appreciation”
- Instead of “I’m just going to give up” try saying “I might need to step back and take a break for a bit but soon, I’ll be ready to step back in and do what I can to take even the smallest of steps in the right direction”
- Instead of “I’m hopeless” try saying “I’m a sensitive person who feels a lot and so easily become overwhelmed at times but I’m also a caring person who does as much as I can to help others and make the world a better place”
- Instead of “he/she/that’s just wrong” try saying “I definitely don’t agree with all of [whatever] but maybe there is something that’s reasonable in that position and maybe there is some middle ground”
I could go on but I hope you get the message; and I hope you find some of these examples helpful. In essence, talking to yourself more gently, with kindness and understanding, being less “black and white” and having more realistic expectations about yourself, others and the world, is invariably a healthier way to go about things and an approach much more likely to create happiness and wellbeing, at least at times.