28 May Real happiness is …
The trap many of us fall into is making or allowing our happiness to be dependent on, well, on all sorts of things.
This is what I call “the tyranny of when”, and it goes something like, “I’ll be happy when …” which might end with something like when I’m wealthier or get that job promotion, when I lose weight or put on muscle, when I get married or find a partner etcetera etcetera.
There’s nothing wrong with setting goals, or having aspirations, but if we’re always saying “when” then we’ll always be waiting for something else to happen, to change. And that’s dangerous.
The solution to this is finding a way to being happy despite what’s going on, or with whatever’s going on. This means our happiness is true and genuine, within and not dependent on external factors or achievements.
Another way of thinking about this is changing what “the when” is followed by when you say “I’ll be happy when …”
As with anything, this is much easier said than done but imagine if you could be happy when …
- you’re lost
- you have no idea
- you’re upset and / or confused
- things aren’t going right
- your relationship or job or whatever current circumstances aren’t perfect or even resolved
Imagine that! Because if you can make that a reality then your happiness won’t be as dependent on “other things” and as a result, your happiness will be more stable and solid. And I don’t know about you, but the thought of that makes me pretty happy.