22 Jan Make uncertainty your friend!
Most of us hate uncertainty. We find it unsettling and anxiety provoking and, well, just plain distressing.
We prefer to know what’s going on and what’s what.
But do we ever really know what’s going on? I mean, do we ever really know anything 100%?
If not, then uncertainty is ever present! But that doesn’t mean we need to be ever unhappy. Far from it. Embracing uncertainty and becoming friends with not knowing may well be a path, THE path to real and meaningful happiness.
Let me share with you a story …
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
Some versions of this story continue but I think you probably get the message. We never really know what’s good or bad; at least not in the longer term.
And that’s OK.
Admitting and embracing not knowing, or at least not knowing for sure, practicing humility and curiosity, especially when faced with challenges, can, I invite you to consider, contribute to a form of mindfulness which in turn, can enhance happiness and psychological stability and strength. Within the aforementioned story is also an element of non-judgement, all of which makes up what we typically refer to as mindfulness.
My favoured definition of mindfulness is … non-judgemental observation with curiosity. This is what the “maybe” is all about; withholding judgement. And if mindfulness has been shown to be associated with happiness and wellbeing, which it has, then saying and thinking “maybe” more often may well be worth trying!