19 Jan Telling yourself the right story for happiness and wellbeing
Whether you realise it or not, and in my experience, most of us DON’T realise it, you’re telling yourself a story … a story about yourself, how you fit into the world, and much more that ultimately, has a massive impact on your mental health and happiness.
These stories we tell ourselves often develop when we’re young, and can be influenced by the significant others in our lives. This isn’t to blame parents or caregivers but in some way or other, we often form our life and world views in formative years.
All of which is OK. Except it isn’t really. Because you’ve changed, the world has changed, and what those significant others thought about the world and you may well have changed and may well have been incorrect or bias to begin with.
Which may well mean you’re living a false story! Or at the very least, a story that’s no longer serving you, your happiness, and notably, the other people in your present life.
But here’s the good news. You can craft a new story any time, starting today. You can literally re-write the story of your life starting any time.
Are you really hopeless for making mistakes and feeling sad or anxious more often than you’d like? Or are you strong for continuing to pick yourself up and have another try, for coping with the challenges of life? Because let’s face it, life’s hard sometimes.
Do you really find it hard to fit in; to make friends and engage socially? Or do you only feel comfortable with a few people, with your tribe, with those who share your values and who love and respect you for who and what you are?
Is the world really a terrible and scary place? Or have you just fallen into the trap doomscrolling and of believing negative bias of most media reports? What if you were to actively search for and focus on positive news, on good people doing good things? Because there’s actually lots more of that that you possibly realise!
Whatever your story is now … be mindful of it. Be aware of what you’re telling yourself, about yourself, and about the world more generally.
Then ask yourself … is this helpful? Is it accurate and/or realistic? Is there another story, or version of this story, that would help me live better, be happier, love more and/or achieve whatever my version of a “great life” is?
Give this a try but remember, although you can change your story it might take time. Rewriting and editing old stories isn’t always easy. It IS possible, but you’ll need to persist and I encourage you to be kind to and gentle with yourself along the way.
With that … best of luck in your efforts to be the author of your very own happy life : )