23 Oct Be helpful rather than “positive”
I recently presented a keynote to all the staff of a great organisation who have, among their values, to be positive all the time.
Now, as Dr Happy, Chief Happiness Officer of The Happiness Institute, I’m not opposed to positivity.
But positivity if left unchecked, can become what’s known as “toxic positivity”, a form of relentless optimism and fake smiles that’s just not possible in the real world.
I know for a fact that the people I spoke to understood the difference, but not all do, and some fall into the trap of unrealistic goals, seeking rainbows and unicorns every day, and as a result, end up feeling disappointed and frustrated.
Again, the group to whom I spoke to were well aware of this and I was thoroughly impressed by the sophisticated and subtle conversations they’d had, and we had, about the intricacies of happiness and positivity within the realms of reality. Nevertheless, it got me thinking …
… at the end of the day, these things come down to definitions. So the words you use for your values or mission statement, personally or professionally, matter less than the meanings you ascribe to them. That being said, rather than positivity I’d encourage you to think about working towards being, always, helpful!
Helpful? What does this mean?
Well, I mean that if you stop and think about how you’re feeling and what you’re saying to yourself and what you’re doing (including how you’re interacting with others) … IS IT HELPFUL?
Is it helping YOU to cope? Is it helping you enjoy happiness and be the person you want to be? Is it helping you and your colleagues (or organisation) achieve your goals?
You can continue this as far as you like but … I think you get the point. The point is, positivity is fine as long as it’s grounded in reality and as long as it’s constructive, achieving something of value. And maybe that’s what we need for living a happy and “successful” life.