06 Oct Not all people who experience depression are pessimists. Here’s how my “optimism” causes me so much pain…
There’s a common myth that depression stems from pessimism; or at least, that a lot of people who experience depression have a pessimistic thinking style.
Actually, it’s not entirely a myth because it’s partially true.
Partially, but not completely.
Because there are other factors that can and do contribute to depression. And there are those with depression who’re not real pessimists.
I know about this because I’ve worked as a psychologist for several decades and come to the conclusion that there’s not just one type of depression.
But I also know this because I’ve experienced depression almost all of my adult life and although I can be negative, I don’t really think I’m a pessimist.
In fact, after many years of therapy and self-reflection I’ve come to realise that my problems actually stem more from optimism, or at least what I’d call unrealistic optimism or OVER IDEALISM!
That is, much of my distress comes from believing, hoping, that people are and can be good, that the world is or can be good.
And although they / it is good, I’m often let down; because my expectations or definitions of good are just unrealistic. And so I set myself up for failure, which creates frustration and disappointment and then depression.
At the same time, I’ve learned that my happiness is far more likely if and when I can be more realistic. That does’t mean I lower my expectations, or just think everyone and everything is crap. I still enjoy believing in what’s good and hoping things can be better BUT when I can balance this with a healthy dose of reality, or practicality, I tend to feel happier and better and be less likely to fall prey to my demons.
So, by all means, aspire to be and do all you can for the world to be positive and more BUT make sure you stay grounded in the cold hard realities of life if you want resilience and happiness.