04 Oct A foundation upon which to build happiness
As someone who’s studied and taught and tried pretty much every happiness and wellbeing option available, it’s hard to pick a favourite.
And even if I did have a favourite, one that really made a major difference to my happiness and mental-health, it’s unlikely that same strategy would work for all of you.
Because we’re all different.
And health and happiness means different things to different people.
That being said, there is one construct that I’ve increasingly favoured, as the years have gone on and as I’ve become (hopefully) a little wiser.
And that is … self-compassion.
The reason I think this is so helpful is because whichever other happiness boosting strategies you use, or whichever other health hacks work for you, we’ll all make mistakes; we’ll all slip up and be imperfect. Because we’re humans.
And this is where self-compassion comes in. This is why self-compassion is so important for happiness and psychological wellbeing. Because when something goes wrong, when you fail (because you will), being kind to yourself allows you to bounce back quickly, rather than sliding further down into a cycle of self-criticism and even, self-destruction.
Self-compassion has been defined and can be practiced in many different ways. But the one I’ve stuck with over many years now has been that outlined my Kristin Neff (you can visit her website HERE).
Neff makes self-compassion, there thereby happiness, so simple. That’s not to say it will always be easy, but her 3 simple steps are easy enough to remember and to keep going back to.
Again, you can read and learn more on her site but just briefly, for Neff, self-compassion involves (1) mindfulness, (2) being kind to oneself, and (3) remember that we’re all connected via our imperfection and fallibility.
If nothing else, just try to treat yourself with the same care and consideration, with the same gentleness you treat others. Because surely you deserve it too!