28 Jul Seeing the Good in Others
Happiness isn’t just about us.
Even OUR happiness isn’t just about us.
Happiness comes from many sources, but one of the more significant is the quality of our relationships.
So, to quote the great happiness researcher Professor Chris Peterson … other people matter.
And when it comes to other people, and our happiness, seeing the good in others can pay massive dividends and if you’d like to learn more about this, read on …
via Psychology Today by Rick Hanson
KEY POINTS
- With what scientists call the brain’s “negativity bias,” we’re most likely to notice the bad qualities.
- Seeing the good in others is a simple but compelling way to feel happier and more confident.
- Recognize the good you see in others is also in you.
Clay Banks/Unsplash
Many interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, or via email: We sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what’s inside other people—especially their good qualities?
In fact, because of what scientists call the brain’s “negativity bias,” we’re most likely to notice the bad qualities in others rather than the good ones: the things that worry or annoy us or make us critical.
Unfortunately, if you feel surrounded by lots of bad or, at best, neutral qualities in others, and only a sprinkling of dimly sensed good ones, then you naturally feel less supported, less safe, and less inclined to be generous or pursue your dreams. Plus, in a circular way, when another person gets the feeling that you don’t really see much that’s good in him or her, that person is less likely to take the time to see much that’s good in you.
Seeing the good in others is, thus, a simple but very powerful way to feel happier and more confident, and become more loving and more productive in the world.
The Practice
- Slow down: Step out of the bumper car and spend a few moments being curious about the good qualities in the other person. You are not looking through rose-colored glasses; instead, you are opening your eyes, taking off the smog-colored glasses of the negativity bias, and seeing what the facts really are…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE