21 Jun 9 Ways to Combat Self-Criticism
No matter who you are and/or how happy and successful you might be, I’m pretty confident at some point you’ve engaged in self-criticism.
For some people, this is an occasional and manageable experience.
For others, it can be crippling, eating away at any happiness or success that might try to be present.
But the good news, especially for those of us who want to enjoy more happiness in life, is that there are ways to combat self-criticism.
Like most things related to being happier, it’s easier said than done; but like most things happiness related, it’s possible to make improvements …
via Time by Angela Haupt
A greatest-hits soundtrack produced by self-criticism would sound something like this: You should have done better on that project. Why isn’t the house cleaner? You tanked the whole soccer game! You’re a bad parent, an even worse colleague, and a sorry excuse for a friend. And you’re wasting so much time right now that you’ll be late—again.
The tendency to engage in negative self-evaluation afflicts almost everyone, sometimes profoundly. “People treat their self-criticism as though it’s part of themselves, like their eye color,” says Rachel Turow, a Seattle-based clinical psychologist and author of The Self-Talk Workout. “They say, ‘Oh, I’ve just always been my own worst critic.’ And a lot of people don’t realize how damaging it is.”
Listening to your loud inner critic is a habit—not a fixed personality trait, Turow clarifies—often exacerbated by childhood trauma, emotional abuse, bullying, sexism, homophobia, and social-media use. It can also be a form of self-protection: If you’re mean to yourself, “then nobody else can hurt you as bad as you’re going to hurt yourself,” Turow says.
But there’s good reason to work on silencing self-criticism, which has been found to worsen depression, anxiety, disordered eating, juvenile delinquency, self-harm, and suicidal behavior and ideation. (In some cases, it’s a reciprocal relationship: depression also triggers self-criticism, an effect researchers have found is particularly pronounced for teen girls.) People with higher levels of self-compassion, on the other hand, are less likely to experience mental-health challenges.
There are two broad types of self-criticism, notes Lakeasha Sullivan, a clinical psychologist based in Atlanta. Some of these thoughts are first-person “I statements,” like: “I’m so lazy.” Others use second-person language: “You didn’t go to the gym all week.” The latter tend to be particularly insidious. “Our brains process those thoughts as if someone in a position of authority is talking to us,” she says. “They know all our flaws, and they pretend like they can predict the future.”
Fortunately, plenty of tools can help us speak more kindly to ourselves. We asked experts to share their favorite ways to overcome critical self-talk…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE