4 Things We Can’t Control and Need to Accept

4 Things We Can’t Control and Need to Accept

For me, there’s no doubt that one of the greatest causes of my unhappiness, my depression and anxiety, is wanting and trying to change that which just isn’t changeable; at least not by me!

On the flip side, I’ve come to learn that one of the best things I can do for my happiness, for my peace of mind and contentment, is to accept what I can’t change and to be OK with that.

Happiness isn’t about having everything you want or about having everything perfect. Rather, real happiness is about appreciating all that’s good and doing what you can to make more good BUT ALSO accepting that which isn’t how you’d like it and letting go of the need for controlling everything …

via Psychology Today by Leah Aguirre


  • We tend to focus on and worry about the things we have little to no control or influence over.
  • There are things we cannot control and need to accept for our well-being and inner peace.
  • Tightening our grip on the things that we cannot control just fuels feelings of helplessness and despair.

Source: mavo/Shutterstock

What do you spend most of your time worrying about or fixated on? My guess is that you worry about the future and the uncertainty that life brings—the things that we have little to no control over.

Me, I used to be consumed with worries about life milestones and other people’s perceptions of me. I would obsess and spiral in my thoughts, thinking about all the “what-ifs” and worst-case scenarios that I could maybe avoid or somehow change and manipulate. Of course, this approach was not very helpful because the things I would worry about were either (a) almost always impossible to predict or plan or (b) things I could not directly influence—or both.

In our fear-based society, we often try to do everything in our power to take control. We like to be “on it” and one step ahead, trying to troubleshoot everything. We don’t like to feel unprepared or vulnerable and will go to great lengths to avoid stress and things that are hard and uncomfortable.

But this is a losing battle. Tightening our grip and expelling energy on the things that we cannot control just fuels feelings of helplessness and despair.

Let’s make a shift, then, and let go of the need to control those things that are outside of our control. Start with these four things.

1. The Future

So many of us struggle with the uncertainty of the future—we want to know when, where, and how things will happen. We make plans and want to see them through in the exact way we had envisioned them.

But as much as we try, we can’t always plan for the exact timing of things or how they will unfold. Life happens, and there are external factors that make it impossible for us to have complete certainty about the future.

Whether it’s a global pandemic, losing a job, or a family member becoming sick, sometimes we must pivot and take things as they come. This isn’t to say that our goals and pursuits are not worth pursuing, but that we need to practice having more cognitive flexibility—a mental shift that encourages us to be more open to the fluidity of life and timing.

Additionally, while we might not know what the future holds or what tomorrow brings, we do know that in this very moment, we are breathing and alive and that there are things we do have control over—things we can do to take care of ourselves and cope with uncertainty…

… keep reading the full & original article HERE