11 May Finding Happiness When Life Doesn’t Turn Out as You Planned
No matter how much we try, life doesn’t always turn out the way we’d like it to.
And that’s OK. That’s life. That’s reality.
But that doesn’t mean we still can’t enjoy happiness (and a good life).
In fact, REAL happiness inevitably involves finding ways to still enjoy life no matter what life throws at you …
via Psychology Today by Juliana Breines
KEY POINTS
- The loss of an imagined future can involve a grieving process worthy of being taken seriously.
- Savoring positive experiences can help people find more joy in life, especially in challenging times.
- Recent studies show that people who think of their lives as journeys through adversity may experience a greater sense of meaning and purpose.
Source: StockSnap/Pixabay
Despite our best efforts, the dreams we have for our lives don’t always come to fruition. A relationship may fall apart; aspirations for a career or parenthood may not pan out; chronic illness or injury may limit what we can do.
Adjusting to permanent and unwanted changes can be overwhelming. In the void left by what was lost, it can be hard to imagine an alternative path that will fulfill us the way the other could. But research suggests that we are often more resilient than we think, and that happiness may be possible in ways we never expected. The following are four strategies that can help us embrace a different life than the one we planned.
1. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the life you wanted.
We typically think of grief in the context of the death of a loved one. Although different, other kinds of losses can also cause grief, but often go unacknowledged. Research on disenfranchised grief has found that when grief isn’t recognized as legitimate in a given situation, those suffering may be less likely to receive support, which can harm their mental health. As a first step, simply recognizing that an experience is a painful loss worthy of compassion can go a long way.
2. Avoid idealizing other people’s lives.
Reminders of a loss tend to turn up everywhere. After a breakup, for example, it can seem like everyone else is happily coupled. But the glimpses we get into others’ lives can be skewed, because people often feel more comfortable sharing the good stuff while keeping the harder stuff private.
This imbalance leads us to underestimate others’ suffering, research finds, which can make us feel more isolated and less satisfied with our own lives. Recognizing that we don’t always have the full picture can not only help us be more attentive to and supportive of others’ struggles; it can also help us feel less alone in our own…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE