Settling into who we are vs who we might have been

Settling into who we are vs who we might have been

It’s a truism to say that … you can only be you.

You are who you are so why not be the best you you can be?!?!

Happiness is about authenticity; and authentic happiness is about mindfully living true to your values and strengths.

This might sound obvious; but as many of us know, and like many things in life, it’s easier said than done …

via Psychology Today by Ahron Friedberg


  • We tend to see ourselves in terms of other people and their accomplishments.
  • Happiness depends on living up to your own potential and doing your personal best.
  • Who we are is actually who we’re supposed to be.
  • Accepting that fact can allow you to do more and better.

Source: Wikimedia

Jack had just returned from his 50th law school reunion. “I felt like the black sheep,” he told me. “I actually left early.” The trouble with academic milestones, like the one that Jack had just passed, is that they’re insidious little hotbeds of invidious comparison. You look at one of your erstwhile classmates, and either you’re smug or full of envy. Jack fell into the latter category. “It was like everybody was a judge or a managing partner,” he said. “What the hell did I ever do?”

As we age, we want to feel like we’ve lived up to our potential, made a contribution, maybe even made a splash. It’s galling to feel mediocre. But so many of us do. So, the question, as I told Jack, was how to accept ourselves. More particularly, what is the right measure of what we’ve achieved—and how, finally, do we stop worrying about it?

Jack had gone to an Ivy League law school at a time, he assured me, when they were “easier” to get into. “So, you had geniuses and guys like me,” he said. His point was that, over time, the wheat and the chaff would separate into judges, managing partners . . . and everyone else. Jack felt like an also-ran. He’d joined a decent firm on the basis of his law school pedigree but, ultimately, drifted towards a small suburban practice that never did much to test his legal chops.

By the measure of the people at his reunion, Jack was not one that the school would likely cultivate. “They get us all there, and remind us how far we’ve come, and the idea is that we’ll be so grateful that we’ll write big checks,” he grinned. “Well, I wasn’t part of their calculation.” In fact, Jack had wondered whether he should even attend. Over the years, he’d followed his classmates as they rose through the profession or — in some case—branched off into “interesting” pursuits like writing legal thrillers. Jack, on the other hand, felt bland. He looked back on his life from every available professional perspective, and felt like he’d wandered in the wilderness…

… keep reading the full & original article HERE