22 Mar Why Everyone Should Have a ‘To-Don’t List’, According to This Harvard Professor (and 8 Ideas on What to Add to Yours)
I’ve been a big fan of to-do lists for years.
I’ve also been a big fan of NOT to-do lists.
Whether you’re aiming for happiness or success or both, knowing what NOT to do is just as important as knowing what to do …
via Inc.com by Jessica Stillman
Philosophy and science agree: We spend too much time thinking about what to add to our lives and not enough thinking about what to subtract.
When you’re trying to improve a situation, your first impulse is probably to think of what you can do more of to make things better. Psychologists say this impulse is hardwired into us. From our everyday perspective, it just feels like common sense. Not as healthy as you want to be? Add more vegetables or hours at the gym. Business not where you want it to be? Work longer hours.
But in the Atlantic recently, Arthur C. Brooks–a Harvard professor who specializes in happiness research–argued for the opposite approach. Instead of reflexively adding, he says, perhaps we should focus more on subtraction.
The long, storied history of the to-don’t list
Brooks’s article delves deeply into the history of this idea, which dates back to sixth century theologian Dionysius the Areopagite’s views on how we can use subtraction to know the face of God. But in essence, Brooks’s argument is practical. Negative experiences stick clearly in our minds, and we are guaranteed to get a boost in happiness from removing them.
“After a weekend at the beach with your family, you can probably list the irritations far more easily than the pleasant aspects,” he writes. “When you get home, you’ll have a list of things you experienced, and you can easily name the ones you didn’t like and don’t want to repeat next time (for example, bringing your brother-in-law). In contrast, the things you might add (such as a different guest, who, you hope, won’t get arrested) are hypothetical. Subtractive knowledge is practically guaranteed to lead to improvement, but additive knowledge is often just a guess.”
He’s not the only expert making similar claims. One well-known researcher who studies intelligence argues the easiest way to get smarter is to focus on not doing dumb things. Other happiness researchers have urged people to stop chasing joy and instead avoid doing things science knows make us miserable, like being sedentary or getting inadequate sleep.
To put this insight into practice, Brooks suggests, “start by making a to-don’t list to go along with your to-do list. Write down the things you do out of habit or obligation, even though they lower your spirits.”
What should you add to your list?
Retirees might want to prune away the responsibilities that keep them from the more enjoyable parts of life. Lovelorn young people may have to learn what they don’t want in a romantic partner the hard way. No matter who you are, Brooks insists that focusing on what you don’t want can be productive in just about any situation…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE