14 Mar That’s What Friends Are For
When most people think about happiness they think about “me”.
But the research clearly suggests that happiness is more about “we”.
Positive relationships, connectedness, belonging … these are all foundational components of happiness and thriving and flourishing.
For a great article on the value of friends and friendship, read on …
by Robert Biswas-Diener
Introduction: Imaginary Friends
During the height of the global pandemic, people were struggling with feelings of isolation. Birthday parties and wedding receptions were being held online over digital platforms. Cities were mandating “lockdown” and “stay-at-home” orders. More and more, people seemed to be turning to entertainment services such as Netflix. Don’t be too hard on them if their television viewing was spiking. It turns out that characters in TV dramas can help fill a social function. Although we cannot interact with our favorite characters, they come to feel familiar and safe. They are, in effect, our friends. In one study, Satoshi Kanazawa found that watching TV dramas increased satisfaction with friendships more generally. Sure, your favorite detective will never take the place of your real-life bestie, but she is still there for you when you need her.
The research findings on TV friendships are, in a way, an extension of the imaginary friends of childhood. Not every child had one, but many do. My father had an imaginary friend name Poozy. My son had one named Tara, who, incidentally, is his cousin (so maybe less of an imaginary friend than just playing with his cousin when she wasn’t there). I had a Snoopy plush toy that I would get into adventures with—braving storms, climbing waterfalls, and escaping from laser cages. In each of these examples, it is clear that friendship is something that we construct.
Friendship was a hot research topic in the 1980s, and I am surprised that it has not enjoyed more of a resurgence under the umbrella of positive psychology. I have published several research articles on friendship-related topics, but you rarely hear this subject discussed at positive psychology conferences or in journals. Here, I would like to advocate for friendship as both appropriate to positive psychology and important to life. You can see the pervasiveness of this topic in the myriad phrases we have concerning friendship. Dogs are “man’s” best friend. We have fair-weather friends. We’ve got a friend in the business. We have a circle of friends. We even have products that are user-friendly or environmentally friendly. The list goes on and on.
Friendship, historically speaking, is a relatively new phenomenon. Ten thousand years ago, people clustered together in clans and other kin-based groups. There were no opportunities to choose companions based on similar interests and values. As societies became more affluent and technologized, however, they shifted from a collectivist to an individualist mindset. Over the last few hundred years, with the rise of individualism, people have been able to meet and make friends like at no other time in history. And we do: meet and make friends. This is because friendships provide a wide range of benefits. Below, I will discuss the definition, the benefits, and the stages of friendship…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE