This positive psychology theory will help you learn from your mistakes: ‘Punishment doesn’t work’

This positive psychology theory will help you learn from your mistakes: ‘Punishment doesn’t work’

Positive psychology has sometimes been referred to as the science of happiness.

It is interested in happiness. But it’s also about so much more.

Positive psychology focuses on positive emotions, like happiness, but at it’s heart it’s about everything that contributes to thriving and flourishing.

Within that, is a core theory known as “broaden and build” and it’s potentially, one of the most important of all psychological theories …

via CNBC Aditi Shrikant

If you’re a perfectionist, that might mean you can be pretty hard on yourself. A mistake at work, for example, could result is some pretty negative self-talk or actions, like depriving yourself of a snack later that day.

In other words, you’re punishing yourself.

But self-punishment doesn’t encourage growth, says Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and author of “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control.” 

“Punishment doesn’t work,” she writes in her book. “When you punish someone, that person doesn’t learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment.” 

If you are the source of your own punishment then you learn to avoid yourself. This might look like overworking, overspending, or numbing yourself with excessive consumption of social media or TV shows.

None of this actually helps you grow, though. 

Punishment can be mistaken for a handful of things: discipline, personal accountability, natural consequence, and rehabilitation…

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