02 Feb 11 Psychologist-Backed Tips to Conquer Your Fear of Change
Change is a normal part of life.
It’s inevitable.
And can, more often than not, be good!
But many of us fear change; and fear inhibits happiness, limits growth and creates a myriad of other problems.
On the other hand, embracing change can contribute to much good in our lives so if this is something you’d like to be better at then read on …
via Real Simple by Shelby Deering
Sheryl Crow once sang, “A change would do you good.” Except for many of us, change can feel anything but good—it can make our palms sweat, our minds race, and wish for a time when everything was predictable.
But change is a fact of life. Whether by choice or not, life changes are normal and happen all the time. For instance, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person will have 12 jobs during their lifetime. FiveThirtyEight shares that the average American moves 11.4 times. And according to The Wedding Report, around 2.5 million couples got married in 2022. And even when it’s “good” or “for the best,” the very idea of change makes many of us feel genuinely anxious, stressed, and even depressed.
Resisting change even has an official psychological label, metathesiophobia: a fear of change so intense and persistent it keeps the person stagnant, psychologically paralyzed, and unable to make progress or find happiness.
“A life change that requires you to alter your lifestyle or reinvent your sense of self can be a huge undertaking,” says Peggy Loo, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist at Manhattan Therapy Collective. This can often include a mix of “bad” and “good” changes, from relationship changes (divorces, marriages, losses of loved ones) to major milestones (career changes, retirement, becoming a parent) to medical conditions that turn your world upside-down.
Carrie Ditzel, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of geropsychology and neuropsychology at Baker Street Behavioral Health, says that all change, even a happy change, creates stress, likening its impact to ripples on a pond after tossing in a pebble. “Usually one change in life, even if seemingly small, can create a ripple effect impacting many aspects of life and disrupt our waters,” she says. “It’s often the ripple effect of a change that we aren’t prepared for, which is the unique challenge.”
Whether you’d like to go back to the way things were or you’re grasping for more control in the midst of change, there are ways to make these transitions more manageable and less scary. Ahead, we’ll share advice from our psychology experts, highlighting actionable tips and words of wisdom so you can (finally) train yourself to cope with change in a healthier way.
Constantly Fretting About the Future? Here’s How to Stop Anticipatory Anxiety in Its Tracks
Steps to Cope With Change
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Practice acceptance.
While it might seem impossible, one of the first things you can do when change arises is to accept that it’s happening. Since change stems from “feelings of uncertainty and discomfort,” as Loo says, you may simply want to run from it.
In her own practice, Ditzel first listens to how resistant someone is to change, and they chip away at it from there. “Ultimately, we work together to gain acceptance of the change and what comes with it,” she says. We talk about perhaps not ‘liking it,’ but choosing not to fight it.” You don’t have to love it and embrace it immediately—but can you tolerate it, at least for now?
Ditzel compares this resistance to a brick wall that’s in front of you. You can either choose to resist it or even pound your fists against it, but in the end that will only hurt you. “The other choice is to acknowledge it’s there and that the wall is a part of your life now,” she says. From here, you can work on finding ways to turn from it and move in a new direction…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE