01 Feb Have you ever thought about updating the story you tell yourself?
We all have an inner voice; an internal dialogue that, among other things, involves us telling ourselves a story about our lives.
That’s normal, and appropriate; but not always helpful.
Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves are inaccurate, or outdated, or just not relevant any longer.
And as a result, we might be talking ourselves into a life that’s not as happy or healthy or successful as it could be!
What if changing this story could create more happiness? Sound interesting? Read on …
via TED Ideas by Bruce Feiler
We’ve heard it over and over again — that the one thing guaranteed to all of us in life is change. But as we ride through the inevitable ups and downs, how do we make sense of who we are, what we’ve been through and what we’ve learned?
Below, Bruce Feiler — author, TV host and instructor of our TED Course on how to master life transitions — offers insights on how to understand and tell your personal story. Learn other skills to help you create a better world for yourself by checking out our other TED Courses here.
A story has no inherent meaning; somebody has to give it meaning. And in the case of the story of your life, that someone is you.
So if a transition is the process of making ourselves whole again, repairing our life story is the crown jewel of that process.
Our story is the one part of a transition that ties together all the other parts: “I used to be that. Then I went through a change. Now, I am this.”
There can be risks in personal storytelling. Sometimes we use our life story to beat ourselves up or hold ourselves back. “It’s all my fault!” “I’ll never be happy!”
But the upsides of personal storytelling far outweigh the traps. Storytelling allows us to take events that are exceptional, unforeseen or otherwise out of the ordinary and convert them into meaningful, manageable chapters in the ongoing theater of our lives.
Here are three tips I’ve identified that can help you tell a more effective life story:
1. Use past tense
Put some distance between who you are today and who you were when your story veered off course.
So instead of constantly talking about yourself as still feeling overwhelmed or confused, start referring to those feelings as happening in the past. For example: “When that first happened, I felt stuck. Now I’m beginning to feel unstuck.”
Stories are made of words and language. Use words that help you confirm your progress...
… keep reading the full & original article HERE