Therapists Trace So Many Mental Health Problems Back To A Simple Premise: Be Nicer To Yourself

Therapists Trace So Many Mental Health Problems Back To A Simple Premise: Be Nicer To Yourself

When it comes to mental health and happiness I’d never recommend doing just one thing.

Rather, for most of us most of the time, there are many habits we should try to develop in the many domains of our lives.

That being said, if I had to prioritise ONE THING over all the other possible psychological and self-care strategies available it would very possibly be this …

via Forbes by Mark Travers

Relationships are the foundation of life, and the one we have with ourselves is paramount. Unfortunately, many of us take it for granted. Here, I’ll talk about three research-backed ways to calm your inner demons and approach life with a heightened sense of self-compassion.

#1: Respect your learning curve

Many of us have unrealistic expectations about how long it takes to acquire new skills or adapt to new environments. We believe that if we enroll in a program, or take a course, our brains will magically open up and absorb all the new information. Of course, the marketing of quick-fix and speed learning programs is much to blame for our unrealistic expectations. (Sorry, but there’s no such thing as 8-minute abs or 4-hour work weeks.)

Cognitive psychologists will tell you that learning is a gradual process and one that cannot be rushed. There has been a lot written about the 10,000-hour rule — the premise being that, on average, it takes about 10,000 hours to master any new skill. While there’s a lively debate over how accurate this rule actually is, the broad takeaway is highly relevant: learning takes time.

Yet we routinely chastise ourselves for not getting things right on our first, second, or third tries.

When you start thinking this way (and we all do it), you need to remember to be nice to yourself and respect the learning process. If you don’t, you run the risk of disengaging with the learning exercise altogether.

Furthermore, we have to be careful about setting comparison points. What I mean by this is that if we compare how much progress we’ve made from this week to last week, we’re probably going to be let down. Remember, learning is a gradual process. However, if we widen the comparison window, say from last summer to this summer, we might find a bit more appreciation for the gains we’ve made. Remember Bill Gates’ famous adage, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”

On a similar note, it’s important to keep in mind that forgetting is a necessary part of learning. Don’t beat yourself up for forgetting things. If we didn’t forget, our brains would fill up with useless information. Forgetting allows us to synthesize information into usable ‘models’ that reflect how the world works…

… keep reading the full & original article HERE