How to Stop Sabotaging Your Own Happiness

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Own Happiness

We all want happiness.

But for many reasons, mostly unintentional, some of us undermine our own happiness with bad habits and self-sabotage.

Becoming more aware of these self-defeating behaviours can, however, lead to more success. And this Psych Central article by Martha Bodyfelt should help you get started …

A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job. It was not one I particularly loved, and I remember feeling bored and stifled with it.

Nevertheless, I started to panic, because at least it paid the bills and the thought of financial uncertainty terrified me.

But here’s where my own missteps came in: As I started to assemble a resume, apply for new jobs, desperately hoping I would find employment soon, a voice in the back of my head get chiming in.

I’ll feel so much better once I get that job interview!

I know everything will be okay once I get the job offer.

I will be happy again once I am in a new job.

Once I get that first paycheck, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.ADVERTISING

Do you see the dangerous pattern going on here?

You’ve probably done something like this, too. And it can sabotage your ability to move on.

Relying on external factors to make you happy.

Only we can do that and that’s why we are going to start this quest with developing self-awareness. Because the more in-tune we are with our own thoughts, our own sense of joy, and our own triggers, the easier it will be to practice that mindfulness we need to be kinder to ourselves, more confident in ourselves, and able to hold ourselves accountable to building on with the next chapter in our lives. So let’s get started.

“Once X happens, only then will I be or feel Y….”

At some point in our lives — we’ve all done this. And as we learn to heal and move the hell on from this divorce, we may still fall into what I call the X-Y Trap. We say to ourselves that it will take a certain external situation (what I call the X) in order for us to achieve an internal state (what I call the Y). While this occurs in everyday situations, the X-Y Trap loves to linger during the divorce process. Do any of these phrases sound familiar?

… keep reading the full & original article HERE