28 Jan If you feel stuck, consider whether you’re stuck in your comfort zone
We all get stuck sometimes.
And given what the last few years has given us, even more of us than normal have become even more stuck than normal.
It’s quite normal; but that doesn’t mean it’s ideal.
Becoming TOO comfortable can be problematic because it can mean we don’t stretch and grow and realise all we can be and do.
So if you’re feeling stuck, check out this Psychology Today article by Leon Seltzer and consider some ideas for getting unstuck …
KEY POINTS
- Habitual attempts to avoid dysphoric emotions can last a lifetime, virtually guaranteeing you’ll never realize your fondest hopes and dreams.
- The primitive child defenses of dissociation, displacement, denial, and repression explain how we manage feelings we can’t otherwise tolerate.
- Once established, defense mechanisms last indefinitely because, however unconsciously, they’re constantly being reinforced.
- You have sub-personalities (aka defenses) that can sabotage you by making you not vigilant but hyper-vigilant, not cautious but over-cautious.
If you somehow feel stuck in life, have you thought about what might be contributing to that stuckness? Ironic or perverse as it seems, staying within your so-called comfort zone—your confined band of safety and security—can trap you in ways that end up making your life more of a struggle than you ever imagined.
Still, the very idea of a comfort zone—as in, peacefully settling into a state of mind that forestalls worrisome fears of failure and rejection—can be incredibly alluring. At least it sounds like something we might all aspire to: Our life would be so much easier if we could regularly fend off anything that precipitated disturbing feelings of anxiety or depression.
It may well be that the majority of us end up succumbing to this allurement, despite its preventing you from reaching your goals—both as regards personal achievement and building strong, lasting, gratifying relationships.
Plus, surrendering to its enticement can eventuate in interminable frustration with yourself, and with life in general. And the habitual attempt to avoid dysphoric emotions can operate as a lifelong hindrance, virtually guaranteeing that you’ll never realize your fondest hopes and dreams.
Intimately related to your comfort zone are your psychological defenses. Although designed to free you from the quagmire of unpleasant or unbearable thoughts and feelings, they ultimately can prevent you from reaching your full potential.
These self-protective mechanisms, linked in turn to whatever you associate with personal survival, first arose at a time when you felt overwhelmed by obstacles you perceived, however inaccurately, as mortally threatening.
Nonetheless, it’s crucial to recognize that these defenses, while instinctively moderating or eliminating distressful feelings of fear or vulnerability, can be just as hurtful as, initially, they were helpful…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE