The Simple Solution to Languishing Is Rewarding Yourself Throughout the Day—Here Are 9 Ways To Do It

The Simple Solution to Languishing Is Rewarding Yourself Throughout the Day—Here Are 9 Ways To Do It

via Well and Good by Kara Jillian Brown

If you’ve been experiencing a loss of motivation, passion, and purpose, you’re not alone. This feeling is described as languishing—the midway point between flourishing and depression, as explained by organizational psychologist Adam Grant, PhD, in an article published by the New York Times in April. During a recent Well+Good TALKS event focused on mental health, writer, wellness coach, and licensed therapist Minaa B., LMSW, explained how rewarding yourself throughout the day can help you overcome feelings of emptiness.

“With this languishing that many people are probably experiencing, it’s really great for us to find different ways to reward ourselves throughout the day. And recognizing that as people who are worthy and deserving, we don’t have to necessarily earn good moments in life—we can cultivate them,” says Minaa. “If you find that your days are starting to feel mundane, chances are you’re not rewarding yourself with some sort of mood-boosting activities.”

The idea of rewarding yourself when you feel like you haven’t ticked off everything on your to-do list can be difficult to grasp, says energy healer Lauren Ash, CEO and founder of Black Girl In Om.

“I’m proud of myself for the amount of time that I spend on myself in the mornings because it wasn’t that long ago where that wasn’t the case…In the back of my mind, I was like, I don’t deserve this,” says Ash. “We literally have to reprogram ourselves to tell ourselves, I’m doing this not because I work hard. But I’m doing this just because I deserve. Because there’s a difference there.”

Keep in mind that the ways you reward yourself will be dependent on your needs. While going for a run is good for you and can lead to mental health benefits, if it’s not something you truly enjoy, you shouldn’t consider it your reward activity.

“Self care is a subjective process,” says Minaa. “It really requires us to get curious with ourselves and self-reflect on what are my needs. Because what might work for my friend, or what I might read on a blog post might not necessarily connect with me and what is vital for my mental well-being. This is a part of self-awareness and self-nourishment. By just knowing what your needs are and how you can meet those things.”

Recently, during a breathwork training with Millana Snow, Ash says she was reminded of the power of self-healing.

“We truly are our own healers,” says Ash. “Anytime that we feel called to go do a thing, or take a class, or go to a therapist, whatever, they’re simply holding the space for us. But it’s our beautiful right to reclaim,” knowing that you’re the one making this “expansive transformation” happen.

Below, you’ll find nine examples of how to reward yourself throughout the day. Much of this depends on what’s feasible for you and your environment. You can’t exactly cook a meal if you’re working in an office or find a quiet spot to nap if your young kids are doing school from home. Let this list allow your gears to start turning and figuring out what works best for you. “By engaging in those small habits and practices, we can start to create a shift that will lead to bigger changes for ourselves,” says Minna.

Wondering how to reward yourself? Here are 9 simple options

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