via Positive Psychology News Daily by Yashi Shrivastava

What comes to mind when you hear the word “relationship?”

For most people, this word brings up images of couples, families, or friends interacting with each other. That makes sense, considering relationships with other people are a big, and extremely important part of our lives and our well-being. However, I believe that there is one relationship that is quite important for our well-being but doesn’t get as much attention: our relationships with ourselves.

You Can’t Get Away from Yourself

Think about this for a moment: would you say you treat yourself with the same love, kindness, and respect as you treat a close friend or a loved one in your life? According to researcher Kristin Neff, most people tend to be much harder on themselves than they are on others.

The challenge we often run into is this: while it is easier to select the kind of people we want to spend time with and avoid the ones we don’t, we are bound to ourselves. So, while you may choose to spend time with a friend who is kind and fun and avoid the one who can’t stop complaining about everything that’s wrong with her life, you can’t get out of spending time with yourself. Now, even though you may temporarily escape yourself by binge-watching Netflix or drowning yourself in alcohol or something else, deep down, you know that that’s not the best way to live. It might serve you better to learn how to be a better friend to yourself, to become someone you don’t need to escape from.

How to Be a Better Friend to Yourself

How might you do that? While there are numerous ways to develop a healthier relationship with yourself, one simple way is to follow what Dr. John Gottman refers to as a magic ratio that makes love last. In his extensive research on romantic relationships, Dr. Gottman has found that a 5:1 ratio between positive and negative interactions between couples is a strong predictor of whether the couple will stay together. In other words, couples end up staying together if, on an ongoing basis, for each argument or negative interaction they have with each other, they have at least 5 pleasant or positive interactions.

Now reflect on this for your own relationship with yourself. What is the ratio of positive to negative interactions you have with yourself?

If the ratio is low, consider this. You cannot divorce yourself, so that’s like being stuck in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life. To make matters worse, unlike in a marriage, in this case, you have no one to blame but yourself! 

… keep reading the full & original article HERE

#happiness #happy #happier #selfcompassion #relationships