Three Reasons Why Happiness Is So Elusive and Fleeting

Three Reasons Why Happiness Is So Elusive and Fleeting

via Psychology Today by Frank McAndrew

In the 1990s, a psychologist named Martin Seligman led the positive psychology movement, which placed the study of human happiness and living a good life squarely at the center of psychological research and theory. It continued a trend that began in the 1960s with humanistic and existential psychology, which emphasized the importance of reaching one’s innate potential and creating meaning in one’s life, respectively.

Since then, thousands of studies and hundreds of books have been published with the goal of increasing well-being and helping people lead more satisfying lives.

So why aren’t we happier? Why have self-reported measures of happiness stayed stagnant for over 40 years?

Perversely, such efforts to improve happiness could be a futile attempt to swim against the tide, as we may actually be programmed to be dissatisfied most of the time.

1. Happiness Is Not Just One Thing

Part of the problem is that happiness isn’t just one thing.

Jennifer Hecht is a philosopher who studies the history of happiness. In her book The Happiness Myth, Hecht proposes that we experience different types of happiness, but these do not always go together. In fact, some types of happiness may even conflict with one another. In other words, having too much of one type of happiness may undermine our ability to have enough of the others – so it’s impossible for us to simultaneously have all types of happiness in great quantities.

For example, a satisfying life built on a successful career and a good marriage is something that unfolds over a long period of time. It takes a lot of work, and it often requires avoiding hedonistic pleasures like partying or going on spur-of-the-moment trips. It also means you can’t while away too much of your time spending one pleasant lazy day after another in the company of good friends.

So, keeping your nose to the grindstone demands that you cut back on many of life’s pleasures. Relaxing days and friendships may fall by the wayside.

As happiness in one area of life increases, it’ll often decline in another.

2. We Delude Ourselves About Our Past and Our Future

This dilemma is further confounded by the way our brains process the experience of happiness.

By way of illustration, consider the following examples…

… keep reading the full & original article HERE

#happiness #happy #psychology #positivepsychology #selfhelp