7 things to do for a truly happy marriage / relationship

7 things to do for a truly happy marriage / relationship

via Inc.com by Marcel Schwantes

Raise your hand if you’ve been divorced or know of someone who has been divorced? (I’m raising my hand now as a divorcee myself, who has since re-married).

That should cover the majority of us. And the numbers don’t lie. Nearly half of all married couples in the U.S. are the victims of marital divorce or separation, according to the latest statistics.

In fact, marriage and divorce may be a matter of life or death. Literally. As reported in Time, “married people who rated their unions as ‘very happy’ or ‘pretty happy’ had roughly 20 percent lower odds of dying early than people who said their marriages were ‘not too happy.'”

Even Warren Buffett, the third richest man on the planet, gave his shareholders at a 2009 Berkshire annual meeting unusual advice when he declared:

Marry the right person. I’m serious about that. It will make more difference in your life. It will change your aspirations, all kinds of things.

What it takes for a rock-solid marriage

To truly make it an effective marriage or partnership, both parties must have a desire to grow–grow as individuals and grow in the relationship.  

Here are seven ways you can keep your marriage happy long-term.

1. Speak positive things into each other.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute finds that happier couples exchange “at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other” as negative ones, especially when discussing problems. He says, “A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity” and advises that we make “regular deposits” to our emotional bank accounts.

2. Stop criticizing each other.

In Gottman’s classic The Marriage Clinic, he identifies criticism as one of the “Four Horsemen” that leads to divorce (along with Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling). While complaining poses no harm, criticism destroys marriages. The difference? Complaining can look or sound like offering a critique or voicing a complaint about a specific issue. Criticizing is an ad hominem attack on your partner at the core of their character. In effect, you are dismantling their whole being when you criticize…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE