This one’s for all the parents who want to raise happy, well adjusted children

This one’s for all the parents who want to raise happy, well adjusted children

via by Scott Mautz

“We aren’t raising children, we’re raising adults,” says family therapist, psychotherapist, and author Susan Stiffelman. What we do as parents creates our kids’ sense of normal, which ingrains habits and behaviors that carry into adulthood.

Of course, we want the best for our children–for them to have a lifetime of happiness, to be prepared for the real world, or to simply do better in school. Most often we want them to succeed, and so we search for advice to pass on.

But the best help here comes from what you show, not tell.

Stiffelman told Parenting there are specific things parents can role-model to most effectively foster well-adjusted, successful young adults, which I’ve blended here with personal experiences. Let your kids see you:

1. Struggle.

As a younger parent, I hid my struggles, so I wouldn’t shatter my daughter’s illusion of dad’s heroic-ness. I soon learned the importance of letting her see the full cycle of handling adversity. As Stiffelman puts it, “Let your kids see you struggle, how you handle it, how you get through it, how you rest, or how you ask for help.”

2. Cry.

I’m still admittedly a bit embarrassed to do this in front of my daughter, but I know it helps her “become at ease with sadness,” as Stiffelman says. It demonstrates that she shouldn’t feel burdened with the need to override sad feelings.

3. Smooch your partner.

My wife and I do this just to embarrass our daughter, but it’s nice to know it has therapeutic benefit, too. It’s especially important to show affection amid super-busy schedules. Even a little peck on the cheek in between pickups/drop-offs helps show that “coupling” is more than just convenient co-living/partnering arrangements…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE