06 Apr 6 mental habits to help you manage your emotions
via Inc.com by Marcel Schwantes
Anger is one powerful human emotion. It is also a very normal human emotion that needs to be expressed in a healthy way. But there’s a place and time for appropriate anger, and we all have to learn how to manage it before it escalates.
That takes emotional intelligence — the ability to exercise self-awareness to understand the situation from multiple angles and self-control to see things through other filters before pulling the anger-trigger.
When anger comes knocking, and it will, we have to know how to deal with it appropriately. If mismanaged, it can take down company morale and sabotage your ability to lead and collaborate well.
Here are six habits of people that manage theirs remarkably well.
1. They put boundaries on people who make them angry.
Having healthy boundaries means you’re assertive enough to confront and set limits on a particular person violating your physical or emotional boundaries. It’s saying to yourself, “I’m not going to allow this person to push my buttons, take advantage of this situation, or disrespect my authority,” and then following through on it.
2. They get to the bottom of why they’re really angry.
Emotionally intelligent people realize the reason for their anger may run deeper than what they’re experiencing on the surface. They probe, process, do a deep dive, and ask themselves, “What’s really beneath my anger?” By stepping back and looking at root causes, you’ll soon realize that your anger is really a reaction to whatever is disturbing you, usually something unresolved at the bottom of your pile — feelings of anxiety, worry, fear of failure, etc. These are the primary emotions you need to deal with as you contemplate how to make payroll when cash isn’t flowing. Anger is always the trigger and a secondary emotion. So what’s really bugging you? Get honest with yourself after some processing. Then tell yourself with brutal honesty, “The real reason I’m angry is … ”
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