30 Apr Finding happiness in … uncertainty
Happiness isn't always knowing everything. In fact, happiness comes in part to those who accept that they can't and won't ever know everything.
Rather, happy people understand that life is inherently uncertain and that acknowledging this and accepting what comes with this is important.
Today, we have another great post from our resident clinical psychologist – Nick Lim-Howe (HERE)
What can we be certain about the uncertain?
by Nicholas Lim-Howe (Clinical Psychologist)
In my last few blogs so far I have mainly touched on what worry and anxiety are and how to manage it, but what drives us to uncontrollable worry and anxiety?
The concept of uncertainty and the inability to tolerate it is an attitude or perception that many of us adopt. As a result uncertainty/unpredictability are often unbearable experiences that we try to avoid at all costs.
If this sounds familiar and uncertainty doesn’t sit well with you, you may be forgiven to think that worry is in fact useful. A way in which we can prepare for the worst for any of life’s nasty surprises, and thus worry may in fact reduce or protect us from experiencing uncertainty in our lives. As a result worry provides the perception or rather misperception of greater control.
But in reality, does worry make anything more certain in our lives? Does analyzing every possible outcome imaginable actually change what happens? Does worry make our lives more predictable?
If you answered no, then it may be worth considering a different approach. So how can we accept uncertainty in our lives and thus reduce our worry?
-
Ask ourselves – Can we be certain about everything in our lives? Consider the pros and cons of requiring certainty in our lives?
-
Glass half empty? – Do I predict the worst outcome in the face of uncertainty? What’s a more balance view?
-
Be present – Worry tends to be future focused, ground yourself and be in the here and now! Draw your attention to your environment
-
Recognise worry as thoughts – Become in tune to whether your line is thinking is a need for certainty. If it is, tell yourself it’s only a thought and let them drift away.
By taking the steps to learn to tolerate uncertainty that is inevitably in our lives, we may find that the time we spend worrying about it is better spent living it.
Make sense? Want to spend more time LIVING LIFE rather than WORRYING about life? If so, get in touch with Nick via nick @ makingchanges.com.au and find out how you can learn to live with uncertainty and find more happinesss in life!