Happiness: you’ll only find pain when you complain or blame!

Happiness: you’ll only find pain when you complain or blame!

The complete guide to blaming: How to play and how to quit.

by Neil Farber for Psychology Today


I’m all about positivity. ? Belong to the International Positive Psychology Association ?Member of the Positive Health Section ?Have a website called wwwThePositivePower.net ?lecture on Creating a Positive Work Environment ?Even when I’m not completely sure about something, I still claim to be Positive!

So where does negativity fit in? Barbara Fredrickson has shown that we don’.t want to remove all negativity. A positive to negative ratio of 3:1 up to about 10:1 is associated with flourishing companies and thriving relationships. Above 10:1 there is a lack of attention to things that could be improved. Negativity calls our attention to significant issues so that we can deal with them in a constructive fashion. Examining a negative situation, as a challenge that we get the opportunity to solve or manage, rather than a problem that we are stuck with, is the key to resilience, coping, optimism and hope.

To avoid getting stuck in a negative vacuum, it is important to appreciate the source of our pessimism and unhappiness.The two greatest sources of our habitual negative thoughts are Complaining and Blaming. Our love for these two negative bedfellows is unhealthy and detrimental to us as individuals and as a society. While Blaming and Complaining have very distinct personalities, when it comes to performing the actions they are hard to separate. It is difficult to Complain without an underlying feeling of Blame. When you are unhappy or dissatisfied with someone or something, your feelings of negativity lead you to complaining. Obviously, if you are complaining that something doesn’t work as well as it should or someone did not fulfill an obligation, then Blaming can also be applied…

…want to keep reading and find out how to shift the focus from blaming and complaining and onto positivity and optimism, more effective paths to happiness?