03 Nov Q & A with Dr Happy – coping with something chronic
In this week’s Q & A I’ve chosen a question from J who asks … What would you suggest as your top 3 tips for someone who is newly diagnosed with a degenerative disease to support their mental health?
Now, I’m well aware that this might seem like quite a specific challenge, but I chose this question because if not a degenerative disease, many people do experience, or have a loved one who experiences, some sort of chronic illness. It might be chronic pain or asthma, diabetes or even allergies. But all of these can impact our happiness and wellbeing and all can benefit from a similar approach to coping.
So, in short, for all those trying to deal with some chronic health or lifestyle condition, my top 3 suggestions would be …
- Do what you can do to improve your condition and your life
- Accept that you can’t do everything, all the time
- And be wise enough to know the difference
Some of you might recognise this as a version of what’s sometimes called “the Serenity Prayer”. And it’s something I find very helpful in my life, and in my ongoing efforts to manage and live with my depression.
When I can, I do; I take action and make changes.
When I can’t I try to practice acceptance, knowing that fighting that which can’t be defeated only adds to my distress and even creates new and additional distress.
And then the big challenge is knowing when do to one or the other. This is a constant struggle, or balancing act, but one which we can hopefully get better at if we do our best and then learn so we can then try to do better.
I hope this helps. And I hope you (all) can find the wisdom (and then the happiness and wellbeing) in between the action and the acceptance. It’s an ongoing “journey” but one that is possible to navigate with patience and positivity.