28 Feb You don’t have to act out your feelings
As regular readers would know, despite being known as “Dr Happy” and despite being the Chief Happiness Officer at The Happiness Institute, I’m not happy all the time.
Definitely not!
Instead, because I’m what some might refer to as a “highly sensitive person” (or HSP) I feel a lot, of all emotions. So, I frequently feel sad and depressed, anxious and stressed, frustrated and angry.
More often than not, these feelings are normal and appropriate; except that my experience of them can be more intense and more enduring than most.
But I’ve come to accept them more over time and I’ve definitely learned that it’s OK not to be OK all the time.
Notably, and in addition, I’ve also learned that I don’t have to act on my emotions. I know it’s important to be authentic and not to deny these feelings but … if I acted out my negative thoughts each time I became depressed, if I followed my anxiety each time I was afraid, if I allowed my anger to direct my behaviour well, I’d hate to think of the trouble I’d be in and of the life I’d be living!
Acknowledging and accepting thoughts is one thing; and it’s indubitably a healthy practice to learn. But it can also be healthy to separate my thoughts and feelings from my behaviours so I can … remain at least relatively calm during turbulent times, not harm myself or others during dark days, and self-regulate when my desires to lash out become troublesome.
This isn’t about ignoring feelings; it’s about behaving and living as best you can with or sometimes despite them!