11 Jul 11 SMALL things that will boost your happiness BIG time!
via Minda Zetlin of Inc.com
Want to be happier? Begin by being good to yourself. That may sound self-evident, but too many people skip this step and try to make themselves happy by chasing ever-higher goals, or holding themselves to ever-greater standards of perfection.
Ironically, being good to yourself instead will bring you closer to achieving those lofty ambitions, says Daylle Deanna Schwartz, speaker, columnist, and author of 15 books, including The Effortless Entrepreneur. “The more you value yourself, especially at work, the more you build confidence,” she says.
In fact, the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. “When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don’t want to do is an act of kindness, and you don’t walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn’t want to do,” Schwartz says.
Not only is being kind to yourself good for your career, it’s good for your relationships too, she adds. “The more you build self-love, the more you have to give to others.”
Here are 11 acts of kindness happy people perform for themselves—and so should you.
1. Commit to Doing One Nice Thing for Yourself Every Day
Schwartz invites visitors to her site to sign a 31-day pledge to “do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small.” Whether you feel like signing or not, making the commitment means you’ll remind yourself on a daily basis to treat yourself with loving kindness.
Keeping that commitment will bring real benefits, she says. “It motivates you to take better care of yourself, go after your dreams, and not let people treat you poorly.”
2. Listen to Yourself
That is, listen to how you talk to yourself, and the internal tone of voice you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mother’s in a lecturing mode.) “We often criticize ourselves in our own heads, and that brings down our confidence,” Schwartz says. “When you love yourself, you know you’re good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms.”
3. Forgive Yourself
“Forgiveness is a big part of it,” Schwartz says. “It’s hard, because most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for all the things we do wrong all our lives. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they’re not. Loving yourself means accepting that you’re stuck inside your own imperfect skin.”
Schwartz recommends this exercise to start forgiving yourself: “Look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you and I forgive you.’”
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