30 May 5 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time
Despite the heading above, I don’t actually think you (or anyone) can be happy ALL the time.
But I do think, in fact I do know, that there are things we can do to enjoy happiness MORE often.
And if we do “the right” things, regularly and consistently, then we’ll undoubtedly enjoy more happiness, and other positive emotions, more often than not.
And that’s pretty good; in fact, that should make you happy …
via Eric Barker
Let’s begin with a cruel little fact…
Iris Mauss, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, found that those who worked the hardest to be happier ended up being unhappier on every measure she studied.
Huh? Trying to live a better life fails miserably? Might be time to close up shop on this blog. Well, we had a good run. It’s been fun. Bye…
Seriously though, let’s put a pin in that one for now. We’ll get to it later. (Trust me, there’s a reason.)
More importantly, why can’t we just be (and stay) happy in the first place? Because Mother Nature doesn’t want you to be. Author Robert Wright broke it down pretty clearly. Pleasure evaporates so quickly in order to make you keep pursuing more pleasure. Evolution doesn’t want you sitting around content all the time. It wants you to be productive (at least by its definition). So the anticipation of pleasure is super strong — but the feeling itself is fleeting. Keeps you hustling because if the treadmill’s not on, you don’t run.
Annnnnnnnd so we scramble around with a torch juggler’s schedule doing things to try and keep the happiness ball in the air. Problem is, we often do the wrong things to be happy.
So what are the right things? Well, I have a handy dandy acronym for you: PERMA. Easy to remember because that’s not even a sound bite; it’s a sound nibble.
- P: Positive Emotions
- E: Engagement
- R: Relationships
- M: Meaning
- A: Accomplishment
There’s your hedonic cheat code. But does it work? Actually, more than eight thousand studies show these strategies are effective.
No, I didn’t come up with it. (I’m not a researcher. This post is fan non-fiction.) PERMA was developed by Martin Seligman, the Grand Poobah of happiness research. He’s a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, a former president of the American Psychological Association, and the leading researcher in “positive psychology” – the science of making you happier.
Ready to be cheered up? I know I am. Let’s get to it…
Positive Emotion
News flash: good feelings make you feel good. You know this one and already rely on it – maybe too much.
We want to feel good but we don’t want the negatives that come with so many of the strategies we try, like the stomachache after two gallons of ice cream. Well, we can get the upside without the downside.
We can increase positive emotion about the past with gratitude, about the present with savoring, and about the future with optimism.
Let’s focus on savoring because it’s the one you hear the least about. One method is called “memory building.” You do this, but only occasionally and haphazardly. It needs to be a habit.
You know those memories of the good times? The powerful ones that irresistibly bring a smile to your face? Make more of them. Next time life is wonderful and things could not get any better, when you’re laughing with friends or on that relaxing vacation with the millions you embezzled, pause and take a mental snapshot.
I said “mental” snapshot. Rather than just taking a photo and burying it in the bowels of Instagram, forge a crisp memory. Soak in the details. Really feel it and burn the image into your brain. Then return to the world and fully enjoy the moment.
We’re often so busy collecting experiences for social media that we aren’t fully present. You don’t want to be an archivist or a detached witness in your life. You want to be a participant. So make memories and savor them.
And they don’t need to be the Supreme Highest of Highs. Anything that brings you solid positive emotions qualifies. When I’m listening to Chris Rock or Led Zeppelin, I smile and laugh, and tell myself just how good this feels. The little things matter. Take a mental snapshot.
No, you can’t just stop there. This is a common mistake we make: focusing exclusively on positive emotions. It sucks that immediate pleasures don’t equal long term happiness. Life would be so simple. No, we gotta do more. We got four more letters…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE