23 Aug Listen Up!: The Key to Stronger Relationships
If stronger relationships are crucial to happiness and wellbeing, then listening is crucial to stronger relationships.
And the good news is you can learn the skills to listen better and as such, relate better to others.
Want to learn more?
Keep reading …
via Psychology Today by Dan Tomasulo
KEY POINTS
- There are different ways of listening and research shows which ones are more effective.
- Active listening involves paraphrasing a speaker to maximize clarity.
- Active Constructive Responding (ACR) is a powerful way to connect because you listen for and celebrating another person’s good news.
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” —Karl Menninger
How well do you listen? There are different listening levels – and learning to use our ears and attention differently may be the most effective way to persuade, connect, and build relationships.
Below is one way to categorize the ways we listen and how they can affect a relationship. This list goes from the least to most effective listening styles, and the last – Active Constructive Responding (ACR) – may surprise you. ACR is a way to respond to others when they share information or experiences with us. Not only does it teach you what to listen for in a conversation – and essentially, how to be a better listener – it also teaches you how to respond more effectively and in a way that can even help improve your relationships.
Styles of Listening
As we move through the worst to the best ways of listening to others, see where you typically fall—and what might help you get to the next level.
Ignoring the listener. This might sound like a no-brainer; after all, there can’t be effective communication when we ignore someone. But the truth is that many of us experience this all the time. The modern phenomenon of “phubbing” is just one example of how we do this: If you’ve ever been talking to someone and they have been distracted by looking at their cell phone while talking to you, then you’ve been “phubbed” (a portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing”). We will feel ignored when there is no eye contact, and the person is engaged in another task as we talk. And when someone feels ignored, the relationship deteriorates. (Learn more here.)
… for more and more positive styles of listening, read the full & original article HERE